This morning I woke up with a fever and today is a day when I wanted to be with my son as I haven't seen him for a few days.
I experienced feelings that life is not showing up according to my ego expectations and even early in the morning I was not sure how to decide.
Would it be courageous to take care of my son even if I feel bad ? Or would it be selfish, because my need to see him could cause, that I could spread some virus on him ( still don't know what it is, my doctor suggest to wait 3 days before I go to a coronavirus test )
I have also faced the tendency to blame myself and others for how I feel, but continually refused to go there.
Later in the morning I decided that the most courageous thing would be to be honest with my son, wife, and my colleagues about it.
So I told the truth to my son and it seems that he was OK with it. We made a few calls during the day.
I also took a day off from work and told my boss about it and also my colleague, I was playing beach volleyball recently.
So I experienced again, that to be honest is mostly scary, but brings relief at the end.